I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
