Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
