My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
