So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
