I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize