I hate your face
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
