so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
