I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
