woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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