i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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