Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Of course I have a pirate flag
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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