We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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