all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
