if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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