FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
