I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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