apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's never too late to be topless.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
