I wish I only lived at night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
