i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
