carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
