I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
