we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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