you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize