Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
