How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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