On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
