my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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