imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
