Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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