my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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