There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
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when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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