You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize