She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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