Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
