Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
