All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
4 words: hood of his car
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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