so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
