Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
