Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
