sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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