Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  ...welcome to nebraska

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  (402): i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall (402): ...welcome to nebraska http://tfl.nu/cxvz
  Replies (56) Good night (2502) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2384) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Would you still love me if I had no teeth

  (1-909): View more from California

  Yeah why?

  (909): View more from California

  Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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  (909): Would you still love me if I had no teeth (1-909): Yeah why? (909): Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone http://tfl.nu/a6a1
  Replies (34) Good night (1455) Bad night (11763)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
  Replies (49) Good night (1104) Bad night (4892)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me

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  (405): Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me http://tfl.nu/44om
  Replies (19) Good night (5234) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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  (603): Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone. http://tfl.nu/7k4a
  Replies (12) Good night (1063) Bad night (2480)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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  (937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu
  Replies (10) Good night (2540) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.

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  (949): Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices. http://tfl.nu/flw8
  Replies (6) Good night (3214) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell

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  (601): answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell http://tfl.nu/66yz
  Replies (3) Good night (1972) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1492) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.

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  (630): Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll. http://tfl.nu/j17p
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.

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  (330): im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me. http://tfl.nu/dfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

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  (816): took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning http://tfl.nu/ad92
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs

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  (717): Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs http://tfl.nu/5gk3
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.

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  (416): I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/fg5i
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (280)

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