Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (793) Bad night (1900) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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  (303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house? http://tfl.nu/bwc7
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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  (847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx
  Replies (7) Good night (531) Bad night (3535) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's a dina-saur

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  (201): you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct (973): that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand (201): she's a dina-saur http://tfl.nu/b0aw
  Replies (32) Good night (5279) Bad night (820)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she has no idea

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  (973): after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college (973): she has no idea http://tfl.nu/zn6b
  Replies (25) Good night (5060) Bad night (936)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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  (304): when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick http://tfl.nu/j5fw
  Replies (22) Good night (5473) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (2000) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2231) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.

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  (949): Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive. http://tfl.nu/to91
  Replies (15) Good night (2035) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (736) Bad night (4795) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (497) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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  (607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg
  Replies (27) Good night (2664) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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  (910): The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video... http://tfl.nu/iq5u
  Replies (5) Good night (2095) Bad night (392)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt

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