Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  for doing what?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.

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  (248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day. (1-248): for doing what? (248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home. http://tfl.nu/ju4n
  Replies (33) Good night (2613) Bad night (629)
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  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (166) Good night (91651) Bad night (4417)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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  (806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra
  Replies (25) Good night (643) Bad night (3520)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

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  (952): I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/w8wo
  Replies (18) Good night (5520) Bad night (1394)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

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  (781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf
  Replies (43) Good night (2459) Bad night (7592)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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  (781): She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared." http://tfl.nu/t3p1
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (1170)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...

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  (540): The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress. (703): So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then... http://tfl.nu/ildr
  Replies (9) Good night (4003) Bad night (1158)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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  (732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy
  Replies (10) Good night (9788) Bad night (1200)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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  (313): if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it http://tfl.nu/hc23
  Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick

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  (850): that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick http://tfl.nu/ww0j
  Replies (11) Good night (3974) Bad night (781)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (660)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (411)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.

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  (206): I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems. http://tfl.nu/rm1a
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (459)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.

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  (304): You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob. http://tfl.nu/lajt
  Replies (17) Good night (558) Bad night (912)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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  (469): His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat. http://tfl.nu/3isl
  Replies (5) Good night (363) Bad night (576)

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