Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

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(906): View more from Michigan

i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

(989): View more from Michigan

you're going for the gold here.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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(949): View more from California

just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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(307): View more from Wyoming

you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?

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(850): View more from Florida

I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.

(323): View more from California

How did you leave without pants?

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