We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.