OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
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my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?