In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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