4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
