it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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