i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
