you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
