God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
