just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
