I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
