Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
