You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
