my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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