You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
