It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
