matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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