im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
