first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
