hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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