The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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