I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
