They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
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Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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