Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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